It’s natural to pursue pleasure over pain. Therefore, it’s understandable to want to run away from pain, or move on from a painful relationship. However, in life, pain is inevitable. It’s suffering that is optional.
It is inevitable that old issues, past hurts and wounds, are going to come up. Learning how to deal with the hurt and pain, working through it so we can express it and feel it, allows us to repair those pieces. We are only connected in our relationship about a third of the time. We’re disconnected about a third of the time. And for the other third of the time, we’re focused on repair. The most important of these is repair.
A good relationship is not the absence of pain. A good relationship is one in which a couple gets really good at how to repair because that is what strengthens the relationship.