Assertiveness – A Skill Anyone Can Learn

Why is it difficult for many people (especially women) to say “no?”

Some common reasons are:

  • You don’t want to appear selfish – speaking up for yourself was discouraged in your family and being accommodating was a good thing.
  • You’re afraid that if you say no, people won’t like you or they’ll get upset and you don’t want to let people down – you feel uncomfortable with conflict.
  • You have always been a helpful person – it’s how others know you and what they expect from you.
  • You fear criticism/judgement – and have come to be a perfectionist.

Saying “yes” all the time is likely an appeasement behaviour. It makes perfect sense to try to fit in and not rock the boat when one of our primary human needs is for love and belonging. In some ways your appeasement behaviours have been working for you for a long time and can be hard to let go of. The problem is that while they appear to solve one problem, they have likely been creating others.

  • You can’t relax and be yourself in relationship
  • You dull your light or put yourself down so others can feel better.
  • You spend too much energy trying to predict what others want.
  • Your voice and personal expression are shut down.

It’s time for something different. Let me help you:

  • To feel more solid and confident within yourself,
  • Exist in harmony in your relationships,
  • Recognize your needs and personal boundaries and be able to articulate/communicate them, and
  • Be true to yourself, more creative and expressive.

And start saying ‘yes’ to yourself.

To find out if I am a fit for you: